Marcus High School's Online Newspaper

The Marquee

Marcus High School's Online Newspaper

The Marquee

Marcus High School's Online Newspaper

The Marquee

Column: Friends’ biases influence opinions

Judgment #1: “He’s such a tool.”

“How would you know? You’ve never even met him.”

It was a typical summer night. My friends and I were gathered around the pool gossiping. That’s when Tyler* came up. Tyler is one of my best friends. He is sweet, real and always there for me. That’s why it was difficult for me to understand why someone would talk trash about him.

The more people chimed in to why they disliked Tyler, the harder it was for me to back him up. I felt like a mouse up against an elephant. I didn’t want to upset anyone or cause drama so I kept my mouth closed and just listened. But all I could think about was how much I wanted to defend him.

The closer Tyler and I became, the more my friends judged. The second someone found out I was hanging out with him my phone would blow up with angry text messages. This time I defended him, but it was like because it was over a text my words didn’t matter. All I got was “We’ll talk about this later.”

In high school, gossip is a main component of student’s conversations. He said this, she said that. People will believe anything, but 99 percent of the time it’s all lies. And when those lies spread, judgments start replacing how the person is looked at. People will judge from one mistake, one flaw.

Judgment #2: “He drops out of races on purpose.”

“What? No he doesn’t. That happened once, and it wasn’t on purpose. Get your facts straight.”

Being friends with someone more than half the school knows can be difficult. Everyone’s a critic. They think they know every aspect of a person’s life, when in reality they know nothing at all.

When people start those rumors it can be hurtful. Tyler didn’t realize that people he had never met didn’t like him. When I told him, his face dropped. I could tell it hurt by the way his eyes glazed over. He looked like a confused puppy. All I could do was apologize even though he constantly reminded me it wasn’t my fault. And that’s just it, if people would think before they speak, this wouldn’t be a problem. If they would take the chance to get to know him, maybe they would see what I see when I’m around him.

By being around people who gossip nonstop I wanted to start believing what they were saying. My friends were trying to change me. My friends were trying to control my opinions. There was so much pressure to fit in with the people who are supposed to care about me the most. People who I’m supposed to want to be around. After a while, I began to realize that all they really cared about was putting other people down. They were too busy worrying about what everyone else was doing, rather than living their own lives and having fun. Which is what high school is supposed to be about.

When I started watching “If You Really Knew Me” on MTV, I started to come to terms with who I wanted to be around and who I didn’t. I was done with all the drama. I’d rather have fun than sit around and gossip. My friends thrive on other people’s flaws, but I’m done.

*name changed

 

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