Words of wisdom

Words+of+wisdom

At first impression, you might be surprised to find out that I am 17 years old.

For years now, people have mistaken me for being much younger than I really am. Most people assume my 14-year-old little sister, who is not so little anymore, is the oldest child in the family. I get suspicious glances when I pull out car keys from my purse (can she really drive?). I receive questioning from so many people on a daily basis. The ticket seller at the movies asking if I have a parent with me so I can see an R-rated movie. The college admissions officer asking if I’m starting my college search early because she thinks I’m a freshman. My personal favorite – they nail lady comparing my image to that of my sister. I can always count on the manicurists to make some sort of comment on my seemingly young-looking appearance.

“Honey, how old are you?” they ask.

“Seventeen,” I reply, and the two manicurists exchange an amused glance.

“Honey, you look twelve. She looks older,” they say, pointing a finger at my smirking sister.

Years of reinforcement of people saying that I look younger than my actual age damaged my self-esteem. Even though I knew that my short stature and petite frame were the reasons that people were mistaken about my age, I still felt insulted every time someone assumed me to be a mere child. It was difficult to be confident in myself when no one took me seriously. After all, who gives full respect and attention to a twelve-year-old?

A few weeks ago on a Tuesday afternoon, everything changed. I was attending a meeting with a group of middle school girls whose club I sponsor. I noticed that there was a new member of the club, so I introduced myself. Her name was Kelly, and when she found out how old I was, she looked surprised. I tried to blow it off as a joke, laughing and saying that it was funny how we were five years apart but still the same height. All of a sudden, she got this serious look on her face, as if she were in deep thought about what I had just said.

She looked me dead in the eye and said, “But we all come in different shapes and sizes. I think you’re beautiful.”

I was stunned. Kelly was right, and I couldn’t believe how mature and wise she was at such a young age. One minute ago, this girl and I were complete strangers, and now she didn’t hesitate to instill confidence in me.

Girls have often been told that they are beautiful despite their outward appearance, but it’s never hit home for me. It meant so much more when Kelly said it because I knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart.

Since I met Kelly, I haven’t been dwelling on my height, weight or even my outward appearance in general. She taught me to accept myself just the way I am and to do the same for others. I learned that there is always a new perspective to be gained and encouragement to be offered. It only took Kelly three seconds to say one sweet sentence that completely flipped my outlook. She brought so much optimism into my life in such a simple way. I will always be grateful that I met Kelly, because she showed me just how much you can change a person’s world just by shining some positive light into their life.

Kelly, you taught me to love who I am and embrace it. After years of beating myself up about how I look, I’ve finally gained that perspective that helped me to see the big picture. It’s not about who is the skinniest, the tannest or the prettiest. It’s about having a healthy self-image and being confident in what you have been given. So yes, I am a different shape than you. Yes, I am a different size than you. And yes, I am beautiful.